Day 19--

 Little miss is still sick.  She quit vomiting around 4am, but I've had to hold her ALL. DAY. LONG.  And when I say hold her I mean hold.. she wouldn't let me wear her either.  This is what I did most of the day.

So then the plan became to wait til big sister got home from school, let her tend to the baby and I'll Plyo as scheduled.  Around 4 she was a little happier, I am able to put her on my back, but plyo is really difficult.  All the jumping is a problem, lol.. Instead I decide we'll do legs and back.  I'll catch up on cardio later in the week.  

2 exercises in I realize she's out cold.  YAY.  I continue working out and things are good.  I didn't add any weights to the lunges or the calf raises because having 20lbs of baby strapped to you really does change the workout! 

I did 17 of these without touching my foot to the floor! Go me! 

Halfway through I get to the deal lift squats... 

I woke up the baby.  

She cried.  A lot.  She's clearly not going back to sleep for me.  :( I give up.  

Day 15--Done! Or as done as it's gonna get.

Oh man, I'm dragging today.  The baby girl is too.  The plan was to head to the mall to do some walking with my mommy group, ( I really missed out here-- they walked about 4 miles!) but as I ran upstairs to grab some laundry to start before we went, Lila crawled in bed and laid there with the most pathetic look on her face.  She was pretty insistent about going back to bed.  So we did.  Half an hour later or so I was finally able to squirm out of her grasp.

In my head this is where I do legs and back.. Then I'm done for the day and I can chill, but, no.  Instead I pinned a few things on pinterest, found  a great recipe for dinner, posted it to Facebook for approval from all my friends, checked some email... you get the gist.  All that took about 30 min before she wakes up. No legs and back for me.. 

So we packed up and went to Kroger to get out of the house and pick up stuff to make aforementioned great recipe.  It's a nice 2ish mile walk.  Baby was happy, I got out of the house all was good.  

Every time I considered working out I found something shiny to distract myself with.  Finally my 13yo came home and I was able to get it done.  There were some great photo ops with Lila working out with me.. Or climbing on my leg while I was in a lunge, but trust me.. this was not a flattering angle for me. 

Here's little miss doing some Huggers! (ignore the basket of clean laundry--just keeping it real)

And OMGosh here she is in the horse stance! Are you kidding me!? 

Right after the stretching Big sister took her to another room and they read a book about dinosaurs.  I finally got to work.  Today was a just hit play kinda day.  I hate to admit it, but I don't feel like I brought it.  I feel like I'm damn lucky to have got to the end in general.  I used weights on some of the exercises that I normally don't.  I added weight to my calf raises (from 10 to 15lbs.) little things.  Tomorrow I'll be able to feel it I'm sure.  I'm just missing out on the post workout high.  #melancholy

Day 15- Legs and back

Not quite done, yet.  I've got a lot weighing on my mind.  (ha no pun intended) I woke up at the same weight I was last Friday.  The weekend weight is gone just in time for another one. I was almost expecting this plateau.  There seems to be a huge mental block right now.  I'm 250.8.  That's my pre-Reya weight.  (She's 13!).  I literally have not been this size since high school.  A year ago, I never in a million years would have thought I'd be here; I was still trying to lose the last 10 baby lbs.  After I started working out I had very little goals.  308 was one.. then under 300.  Then 282 that would be 100lbs lost.  This is the next one.  250.  250 is where I wanted to try to conceive another baby.  Life happened and that's not really an option right now.  If I think about it practically it's not a bad thing.  250 is still BIG.  The more weight I lose the better off I'll be when the *right* time to ttc comes around.  The more I lose the less likely I am to have complications like gestational diabetes--more about this one later.  My pregnancy with Lila-belle wasn't great.  The point is there's a lot of emotional bullshit I'm wading through right now.  The part about not having your mind right can really eff up some progress.  So, I've identified it.  Now to get through it.

In March there's a challenge that I'm joining.  I tend to do really well with start and end points.  If I try to break it down like that things go better for me.  Looking at the overall picture is just too overwhelming.  If my first goal had been 250 I would have given up a long time ago.  Little Bear is almost over, I still have to put on some shoes and just hit PLAY.  Legs and back always leave me feeling totally amazing that I just accomplished that.  I could use some feeling amazing today.