I need a new Tuesday workout

I have a serious love/hate relationship with Plyometrics.  I LOVE it.  The workout, the feeling I get after, the sense of accomplishment, the sweat, ALL of that.. I really do love it.  But OMG It's so emotionally draining I can't take it.

When I was pseudo-married, working out became our couple time.  Plyo in particular was really great for us.  We'd line up and do the moves.  We'd stare each other in the eyes and really focus on one another.  We pushed each other.  (Especially after the break up lol.. neither of us wanted to quit first!--don't ask we complicated things way more than we should have.) I still find myself lining up on "my" side of the room for Double Airborne Heisman.. And not knowing where to look during swing kicks or circle run.  Plyo Day has become an emotional nightmare.  I need a plan B stat.  How I can take care of his kids every day, talk to him most days and be generally ok with things, then fall apart on Plyo day I'll never understand.

I'm trying to decide how much of this is PMS related and how much is Plyo related.  I'm willing to bet it's the first vs the second.  Today was rough.  I'm tired.  35 min of plyo done.  If next week is this hard I'm gonna start subbing with kenpoX.  This is probably a sign that I need to just break down and order P90X2.. I could use a new program that doesn't carry so much baggage.

Lila was particularly cute today.  During the lungs sequence she'd follow me and every time I got into a really deep lunge she'd push my butt up to help me.. clearly, that's not a natural position for Mama to be in.  I tried to get a pic of her deep prayer squats, but she's on to me.. I'll keep trying cause, Oh man, that's adorable!

YogaX

As a habit I skip YogaX.  Before today I'd only even watched 20 min of the dvd.  Today I manned up.  The vinyasas kicked my @$$ like usual, but I hung in there.  I didn't do all of them and that whole "Kick your leg through" thing.. Well, that's just not gonna happen.  I'm sure my form wasn't great, I took a couple breaks and got back to it.  

What I didn't know is that the vinyasas was only 1/2 of the workout.  The second half is balance poses! OMG So much fun.  Seriously.  I was better at them than I thought I would be.  I'm sure anyone who has ever really done yoga would laugh (or cry) at my form, but I was so proud of myself.   I did this

For real.  I can't even tell you how much of a bad ass I thought I was in that moment.  

I tried to do this.. but fell.. repeatedly.  Some things are not for me.  

The baby woke up and I still had 30 min left.  I watched the rest so I could know what was coming up for next time.  There was a bunch of stuff that was laughable.. Backbends? Yeah, I'll be skipping that, but I'm not dreading YogaX anymore.  

All in all I'm pretty pleased with myself.  

Week 4 Day 25

I know, my days and my weeks don't line up.  I started on a Friday.  I wasn't meaning to start, but I did.. and before I knew it I had 10 days.  I'd never made it that far and hell if I was going to start over on a Monday at that point! This is the beginning of week 4.  This is a "rest" week (I use that term loosely) There are 2 YogaX workouts (ha!),  2 X Stretch workouts (I can honestly say I've never even watched this dvd.) 2 days of core synergistics (hun?) and 1 day of KenpoX (yay something I can do!)

So,  I hit trusty ol' Youtube.  This is what I found.  HAHAHAHA.. Oh man.. it's gonna be a week. I can't do this stuff.  Like, any of it, but that's ok.. Gonna do my best and forget the rest, I guess.  I will not hit stop.. I will at least attempt every single exercise.  If I can't do it then whatever.  But I will watch the whole thing.

 I already know YogaX kicks my butt.. The plan was to sub with cardioX, but I think I'm gonna try and hang in there.  I'm just gonna skip the stuff I can't do.  Before I got discouraged and quit.. not this week.

Alright.. Now I have a plan.  YogaX is today.  I'll spread out 2 mats and hope Lila stays on hers.  (not likely)

It's Monday..Weigh in day  254.6.  Gotta break this plateau.  My low weight so far is 249.8.  It's all emotional stuff bringing me down I'm sure, this month is going to be a good one for me; I can feel it! Lila wants to go for a walk in the stroller, so we're gonna trek to the trusty Kroger before yoga-ing.

Day 15- Legs and back

Not quite done, yet.  I've got a lot weighing on my mind.  (ha no pun intended) I woke up at the same weight I was last Friday.  The weekend weight is gone just in time for another one. I was almost expecting this plateau.  There seems to be a huge mental block right now.  I'm 250.8.  That's my pre-Reya weight.  (She's 13!).  I literally have not been this size since high school.  A year ago, I never in a million years would have thought I'd be here; I was still trying to lose the last 10 baby lbs.  After I started working out I had very little goals.  308 was one.. then under 300.  Then 282 that would be 100lbs lost.  This is the next one.  250.  250 is where I wanted to try to conceive another baby.  Life happened and that's not really an option right now.  If I think about it practically it's not a bad thing.  250 is still BIG.  The more weight I lose the better off I'll be when the *right* time to ttc comes around.  The more I lose the less likely I am to have complications like gestational diabetes--more about this one later.  My pregnancy with Lila-belle wasn't great.  The point is there's a lot of emotional bullshit I'm wading through right now.  The part about not having your mind right can really eff up some progress.  So, I've identified it.  Now to get through it.

In March there's a challenge that I'm joining.  I tend to do really well with start and end points.  If I try to break it down like that things go better for me.  Looking at the overall picture is just too overwhelming.  If my first goal had been 250 I would have given up a long time ago.  Little Bear is almost over, I still have to put on some shoes and just hit PLAY.  Legs and back always leave me feeling totally amazing that I just accomplished that.  I could use some feeling amazing today.

So here's the deal. ---Updated!--

Thursday = YogaX day.  Um.. Yeah.  Thursday is always the thing that derailed my week. Then, since I didn't work out Thursday, I would skip Friday.  And since I hadn't worked out for 2 days I'd skip Saturday.  As luck would have it Sunday is a rest day.  Hot damn! Monday is the perfect opportunity to start again.

That's what I've done for 9.5 months? Of course that doesn't count the 2 months where I did nothing at all.    Today will be day 14.  I've never made it this far.  I'm still terrified of YogaX.  I did 20 min of it last summer, It was so hard I threw a fit and haven't tried it since.  Now in my defense this is not yoga for beginners.  This is hard core X style yoga.  I'm remarkably flexible for someone that weighs what I do, but even then some things are IMPOSSIBLE.  Either the belly or the boobs make certain positions way out of my reach.  *sigh*

I'm not doing Yoga today.  Instead I'll do KenpoX (it's kinda like Tae Bo, does anyone remember that?, meets hell) But it's fun, it's cardio and it's not yoga, so I'm in! This is where I promise to ATTEMPT Yoga on Sunday.  Sunday is stretch/rest day, so if I fail miserably I haven't ruined my workout.


Did I say Kenpo is fun? I don't know what I was thinking.  Actually I do, today was the first time in months that I've seen the end of that dvd.  I've been quitting half way through.  You know, baby, emails, whatever can give me a reason to stop.  Today I got to the end. The elbow series is something I forgot was even part of this workout.  After yesterday's shoulders and arms, it felt great, gave me a little extra stretch and reminded me that I worked HARD.  So that part was satisfying.  :)

I don't know; it was REALLY REALLY hard today.  My mind isn't in the right place.  The whole time I kept thinking how much I wanted to just stop.  I didn't do any of the jumping jacks; I jumped rope or jogged in place instead.  On a good day jacks are rough for me.  Everything jiggles and it's really demoralizing.  Same with the punches.  I can see my arm fat flapping.  Yuck.  It's very distracting and there are a lot of punches in Kenpo.  Like I said, my mind isn't right today.  Nonetheless, I just pushed play.  I am sitting here dripping with sweat and I'm glad I did it.

Tomorrow is legs and back.  I love legs and back.