Shoulders and Arms

Done! I'm feeling pretty satisfied with myself.  I had a date to workout at 8am and missed it, but life happens and I had to test drive my new vacuum cleaner. ;-) It's the little things in life! Lila watched and during the ballistic stretching she didn't wanna do that, she wanted to do jumping jacks, so we did! BTW a 3yo doing (attempting) jumping jacks is about the cutest thing in the world.

 I ordered a scale from Amazon that showed up yesterday.  I haven't even opened the box.  I lost the last one in a move so I've been without for about 8 months.  Last month I was brave enough to step on my sister in law's and it was bad.. so very bad.  I was up about 25lbs kinda bad.  And that was on top of the 8lbs my body settled into from my low weight.  I need to be tracking.. It keeps me honest, but OMG that scale in the box in my bathroom is taunting me.  I'm not sure I'm ready.

Focusing, lack of focusing and hyper focusing

The problem with me, and my life in general is an inability to balance things.  I'm such an all or nothing kinda girl it hurts.  I can focus my little tamale business, or working out, the kids, the internet, housekeeping, or whatever shiny object that catches my eye.  Most of the time I can even swing 2 of those, but neither gets my full attention and I never feel like they're getting enough.  That is truly my biggest flaw.

I thought I had more to say, but apparently not.. Life is waiting for me to go handle it. My goal for the upcoming months is to strike a balance between work, home, and self care.  Working out is critical to my self care and an hour a day shouldn't be so difficult to find. That said.. I plyoed for the first time in over a year this morning.  I told a friend if I managed 30 min of it I'd be a happy girl.  28.5 min is nothing to sneeze at.  I'm horrified at how much stamina I've lost, but muscles have memory and I fully intend to get it back!

This abandoned blog makes me feel like a jackass.

I've been crazy busy with this tamale thing.  I have a kitchen, permits, and a spot at the local farmer's market.  I haven't been so busy I couldn't carve out an hour to work out though.  I suck.  205.6 this morning.  Actually, I consider maintaining a success at this point.  I'm 3lbs up from my low weight, but 3lbs is nothing.

Crazy

Seeing it side by side really helps me.  Please let this be enough to kick my ass into working out again.  

Ahhh so stressed

202.8 this morning.  I wish I could say I earned it, but nope, just stress and anxiety at work.  I've got that constant nausea which works well for appetite control.  Don't worry, I'm forcing myself to eat even though I'm not the least bit hungry.  Anyway.. this is what 202ish looks like on me.

211 this morning.

That was a little surprising.  I went on a carby binge over the weekend.  Still no working out.  I fool myself into saying I've been busy with tamale stuff, but who am I kidding? I could carve out an hour if I really wanted to.  I really want to lose 20-30lbs before I go to TX for Christmas.  I need to buckle down.  Here's a pic from the weekend.  I swear my friend's camera has magical properties.

Hanging in here.. mostly

Still haven't worked out, and still have no good reason not to be doing so.  I haven't even been cooking tamales.  I have been  exchanging emails with a local restaurant owner.  I'm optimistic that if I haven't found a kitchen to work out of that I will soon.

I did want to come and post though.  I need this accountability even if it's to come say I suck and I should do better.

I didn't weigh in because it's just so bad.  We've talked about my pms and how I retain insane amounts of water.  I have real numbers to back that up.  Yesterday I weighed in at 223.8.  TODAY.  24 hours later, I'm 215.8.  Yes you read that right.  I shed 8lbs in 24 hours. That's why I can't take big losses or gains too seriously.

Lila had her second birthday.  The kids had a blast, but I could have planned better! 

Rainbow Rice

Dipped marshmallows.. ugly, but the kids loved them! 

 Aqua Beads-- these were the hit of the party! 

Cloud Sand = baby oil and flour.  It is great fun to dump it in the aqua beads.  - gross

kids playing

Standing in the aqua beads

Food! I didn't bother with a cake.  We made rice krispie treats dipped in chocolate

My big girl! 

Oh look! 3 babies standing in the aqua beads! They were literally throwing them across the room. Why didn't I see that coming?!

And now they're sitting.  When we took off Lila's diaper there were no fewer than 15 beads in it.  

Lila wearing the "do do" her Granny sent. 

Personal girl stuff below. Read at your own risk lol